actually i shld get my context & emotions correct. i am choosing between 2 great things and not choosing between 2 disasters, jus that choosing either will entail giving up the other good thing. i sort of need a promise & assurance frm either side to tell me they will stay by me and not let me lose what i may gain/have. of course nobody would do that for me. in this consideration tho, to maintain the current state would definitely be safer and more likely to be a continuation of what i already have. the alternative is something really uncertain from scratch and can potentially be disastrous. but i know whatever the outcome, i at least need to know i've gave it a chance and tried. this way i'd have no regret of not trying and can have a peace of mind ...