i always think that nothing matters much. simply coz it doesn't matter even if i cease to exist. it really doesn't seem like the world would be any different without me around. 1 less person to say "Hi" to, one less person to make u a bit happier, one less emo-FB status to comment on, (...) one less person to talk abt life & share memories with. but none of these does really matter coz they could be easily replaced. there are 6bil ppl in the world, somebody will make a similar effect. i would even expect more than 1 person(tht'd be my mum) to cry for long. givit a week, the whole world returns to equilibrium, the 'life goes on' thing comes on again. this is one of the biggest 'i-dun-getits' abt life:

"If Life goes on whatever the hell happens, what the hell matters at all?"

The other one is:
"If Life could be good just coz you think it is, and bad just coz u think it's bad, then would Life be just a huge self-deception?"

I've been trying to ignore the 2nd one by just taking in whatever that is fun & good in my life!
The first one just set in but ya, i'm trying to come to terms with it, since apparently nothing matters to me either.