i feel like a timid girl. today i did something wrong. i apologized. we were quite. then said i should treat the rest to the drinks for the night. she said that i should start saving up. i toned down a bit and said, "if you are really serious about it, we could spend less."

she said, "are you trying to pick a fight with me?!"

i said, "no ..."

i didn't say much after that. i really felt like i was the girl and she was the man. i should have been more manly? maybe. but i didn't want to make things big. it would really have escalated into a fuming argument at least. i'm either a peacekeeper or a destroyer. if i had wanted to be man, which anger can made me into, i would have given all out to get back my pride as a man. but i really didn't want to destroy everything and i still want to try and make this relationship good. i know i'll stop sometime, but fortunately i haven see it coming yet.