Thursday, October 29, 2009

every nite, i feel very tired, even though i might be hyped with interweaved naps thru'out the day.

FB has not enough space. cant take it anymore. so muh thoughts and feeling tht i dunno how to put them in statuses ...

spoke a lot with kp. thot a lot. everything appeared optimistic in the day, i progressed with things, but every nite, things look bad, maybe coz the day has to end. there's one good thing this week tho, sher & veron jio me for mambo @ esplanade & mambo @ zouk respectively. but why did they have to wait until week 11? too stressed to spare time to go ...

i have too many things in my mind to be in equilibrium & to do things properly now. but even if i disregard that & be focused, i still feel tht it's qte hard to handle what i want to get now. i dunno. the timing is definitely not the best, perhaps it's totally wrong timing. but ... i dunno ... i get some signals, but seems like it goes out to everyone else. so now i dun even know what's going on. i would perhaps just say, i give it just 2 more days. next week i'm going home ... it's too shag to be just hanging around. the sleep is just not very quality it seems. i fall aslp a lot even in the most improbable situations.

maybe i shld jus settle for someone who really cares, not for someone i like. then again it should be both of these combined with matching personalities.

ok, the other option is to totally disregard human relations or perhaps not look for anyone to depend on emotionally. but i think it's hard to do. i wont be able to take it thinking tht no one on this earth really cares for me.

might be all over the place but perhaps i shldn't, i mean by right i shldn't expect anything at the start. but it's jus a bit tiring

Monday, October 26, 2009

a lot to reflect on ...

looking back at the previous & thinking about the future makes me realise that things will still go bad if i do not reflect upon myself and change for the better.

a few problems which was due to me included:

1. i wasn't much interested in telling her about what was happening for me day-to-day ... usually she was the one talking a lot about her days the whole time

2. both of us were not very proactive in keeping each other together

at this point, it does seem like this kinda game will not be excelled in in our society because we're bunch of ppl with ourselves at the central focus & quite a bit of bochupness (be it willing/ unwilling)

will continue ...